I checked my email recently and received a mail from and decided to visit. As some of you may have noticed (all two who ever paid attention in the first place), I've been absent for some 18 months and I'll likely be away for a bit longer. However, when I arrived I found the usual messages (journal notifications, etc.) but surprisingly there were also notes even though I hadn't visited in over a year. Do people not check the little *last visited* thingy? So, I've decided to do a little update just so my front page has relevant information because people still visit it. Back in my day (when computers were still pedal powered - none of this "rechargable battery" shit), people would write emotive journals announcing their intention to leave and then watch to see who missed them (like an extra wussy teenager threat of suicide). That's not what this is at all. I don't own a computer anymore (I only get to use one at uni where I pay for bandwidth so graphics heavy sites like DA are out) but I did make some friends on DA to whom I'd like to say hi and I'd like to leave a message for visitors so they don't think I'm a rude arsehole.

So, my life recently has been consumed by study; I'm back at uni (well, I'm approaching 18 months here) doing a PhD in philosophy and, as any grad student (present or past) will attest, it just consumes your existence, there's always more to do. Being a student again I have little money (I'm on a government scholarship but below the *official* poverty line - do non-philosophers see the absurdity there?) and so live a fairly modest existence. I don't have much money but what I do have mostly goes on books, film and music (including concerts - I saw Sunn 0))) and Boris on the weekend, I don't get why people find Sunn 0))) torturous, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever listened to). I don't have a computer or internet access which is basically the only reason I don't visit DA or make fractals anymore. c'est la vie! Mind you, one of my goals this year is to finally make my interest in photography an active one so I might end up putting photos on here eventually.

What else is there? Oh yeah, some of the old journals and deviations are a bit embarassing, e.g. the Nietzsche essay is so unsophisticated it makes me wince; however, the essay is pushing five years old and is the first time I tried to think about something properly 'philosophical' (being and becoming) so, cringe worthy though it is, it represents part of a past that doesn't make me cringe plus I hate historical revisionism so it can all stay. Other things, the Morbid Musings or whatever it was called, are weird to remember because my life is so different now (I'm much more at peace than I was when I wrote that). Actually, I'm kind of tempted to re-write some things (the Anasazi novella especially); however, I have a friend who's a producer in small film company so I'm thinking seriously about extending my interest in photography into independent film. I'm not interested in working with the company (I know them and they're all too business or socially minded for my tastes); however, I have a real love of and respect for independent filmmakers (the Quay Brothers especially but also Stan Brakhage) plus the novella and my stories tend to come from impressionistic images in my head so the idea of turning the ideas into images and short impressionistic films is more exciting than mutilating them into narratives. Plus, I'm not talented enough to pull a Finnigan's Wake out of my arse.

I think that's it so I'll conclude. If you've just found my page by accident or have added me to your favourites in the last 18 months, I'm sincerely grateful. It's nice to know that things I did a while ago and have mostly forgotten about still bring other people some pleasure. Frankly, this is the biggest thing I miss about DA. Getting positive comments was never as important as the peculiar feeling that came from discovering that people get pleasure from something I consider mediocre at best. So, even though it could be a while before I upload or visit again, it's nice to know that, occasionally, random people still find my gallery and enjoy it. As for the friends I made when I used to frequent DA, what can I say? I have fond memories of you all and I hope your lives and work are going well. The note and message system here is an inefficient way to contact me; however, my email address is bill_gates_is_dead@hotmail.com and you're all welcome to use it. Just bear in mind, I only have internet access at uni and I'm usually preoccupied when I'm online so replies will rarely be immediate. Anyone who lives in or is visiting Brisbane, feel free to email me about going out for a beer, I'm a philosopher and always have something to say (I'm not talkative but definately opinionated).

That's it for now, ciao



(I'd forgotten about the cute emoticons )

Okay, this is just a short request for help from any cat lovers in Queensland (particularly Brisbane). You see, my friend Sharene is moving house and she has kitties she can't take with her and we need to find them new homes. She had/has a bunch of cats but there's only three left.

First up is Kaos; there's lots I could say (he was living with me for about three years before he went to live with Sharene and I could talk all day about how great he is) but I'll try and summarise: he's 5½ years old, he's desexed, healthy (fat but not unhealthy - cuddly), he's very sweet and gentle and loving but he's usually put off by loud people and he's a fairly (fairly) self reliant cat (he just only does what's necessary to survive between feedings). He's also really funny, there's one anecdote on his page but he does funny stuff all the time. He's great with anyone who'll treat him gently, if you or the environment is loud he'll keep to himself (well, he was fine with loud music when we shared a house, maybe loud isn't the right word, he doesn't like erratic, intimidating environments). He's a great cat and needs someone who'll love him.

The other two cats are Loki and Ashley. I can't say much about them, I don't live with them. However, on the few occasions I've been around them they're sweet and inquisitive and friendly. They're both under half Kaos' age and size so if you want a big sooky, cuddly cat you'll want Kaos, if you want relatively smaller more playful cats then you'll want to adopt Loki or Ashley.

For reasons I'm sure you'll all understand I'm reluctant to give out my or Sharene's details on DeviantArt; however, this is totally genuine so if you're interested email or note me ASAP and send me your number or I'll pass on Sharene's number so you can arrange a time to meet and hopefully adopt one of them

BTW, the only conditions we're going to put on whether or not you can adopt one of them is that you must be a cat person (at least enough to give them a safe, loving home - you don't need to be one of those crazy cat people like us) and you must be willing to email us every now and again just to let us know how they're doing. I haven't lived with Kaos for a long time and he's fine without me but I like knowing he's safe and happy and I know Sharene feels the same about Loki and Ashley (especially since they're the children of a cat of hers (Pagan) who's no longer with us). I know you'll understand this last request.

Mood:
Reading: Umberto Eco - The Island of the Day Before (still )
Watching: Warp Vision
Hearing: The Agriculture (d/l it, it's excellent)

*******

Hey everyone. This is gonna be short, I just wanted to let all two of my watchers know I'm still alive but I don't use the net very much which is why I might not seem around much. I made a flower thing in Chaoscope, hopefully a few people will like it.

I just have two things to mention:

Last Monday I met Karen (=Argocat8) and for the first time ever, meeting a net friend exceeded my expectations. Simply put, I really enjoyed the afternoon so, cue plug, if you've never seen her photography have a look, she's come a long from taking, admittedly gorgeous, photos of her pusscats to taking some of the best photography on dA. Plus, she's really friendly and warm and stuff, visit now.

Secondly, seeing how little time I have spent online the last few months I just ignored *swinck's stuff on my watch. Boy was that a mistake. I had a look at some the other day and they were fantastic so I went and had a good look through Serge's gallery and in the last few (or 6) months he's become a very good fractal artist, I recommend checking out his gallery. Two of my favourites of his: magic spiral and pink orchid beauty close-up.

*****

That is all, you'll hear from me when you hear from me.

Mood:
Reading: Umberto Eco - The Island of the Day Before
Watching: 2046
Hearing: An Anthology of Noise & Electronic Music, Vol. 1

*****

Not much to say except ... I got fired from my telemarketing job! I don't know whether I should be worried that it might be a hindrance to getting a place or whether I should laugh. No, wait,

I must have something going for me if telemarketers don't want me.

Mood:
Reading: Umberto Eco - Travels in Hyperreality
Watching: A Very Long Engagement
Hearing: Ulver - 1st Decade in the Machines

*****

For anyone interested, here's some trivia:

The flame se déprendre de soi-même was originally going to be called je est un autre after a line from Artaud (which means I is an other) but, those of you who pay attention to the debacle that is my life will know I am/was working on an essay (which was to be called je est un autre with this flame accompanying it). However, because I don't know how long it'll be until I get my own place and my own stuff I've had to put the essay on hiatus for a little while (damn! if only I were less lazy it would've been finished before I left). I love the aforelinked flame quite a lot and I wanted to share it. Plus, the title se déprendre de soi-même fits it so much better so I was happy to upload it. I'll make another flame to accompany the essay when it finally gets done.

By the way, I did this flame months ago, Dave happily lets me use his computer when he's out (so I uploaded it) but I won't ask him to install Apophysis just for little old moi so this will be my last upload for a while. Sorry, I know maybe 3 people (including me) will actually be disappointed but I'm the one without Apophysis or Chaoscope indefinately, my pain is worse than yours

Edit: thanks =laethian for spotting a typo. Since I just copy/pasted se déprendre de soi-même everywhere I had to fix it everywhere, including the *.png, because typos annoy me.